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There’s a quiet inversion happening in the self-help world.

And most people don’t even notice it.

Here’s how it usually goes:

We feel unfulfilled.

We want more.

More love, more peace, more abundance…

So we turn to “spiritual tools” to help us manifest the life we want.

We’re told “Your dream life is just one vision board away.”

“Your soulmate is waiting in the quantum field.”

“Wealth? Health? That new Mercedes? Just follow these 4 steps.”

Don’t get me wrong: some of it works.

You think differently.

You take bolder actions.

You interrupt old patterns and open up to new possibilities.

But here’s where it gets tricky.

At some point, isn't it possible that this kind of “spirituality” becomes just another form of materialism cloaked in good vibes and hashtag wisdom?

A feel-better strategy. A quick fix.

Changing your circumstances in the hope it’ll change you.

These aren’t bad things. 

But this is where I diverge—where I think most modern self-help gets it a bit backwards.

Should spirituality really be about using energetic practices to temporarily shift our emotionality through material wins?

That might sound a bit harsh, but…

A lot of the people I work with have all the things—and yet sadness, anxiety, doubt, and loneliness still visit. 

And so we do what we’ve been taught—get more. Chase it all again.

So hear me out…

These manifesting masters teach techniques to cross into the mystery—into the quantum—to touch the Great Void, LOVE, the Tao…whatever you want to call it.

And return with… a car?

Wait—didn’t you just tap into the field that dissolves all suffering?

And you’re getting me a car?

It cracks me up.

Look, I get it.

As the Buddha says, we’re in samsara — the world of suffering.

Of course we want to get out of it.

And the only way most of us know how to do that, it’s by reaching for something that makes us feel good.

I totally get it.

I get that impulse — of course you don’t want to suffer.

But here’s the thing: When you move towards the mystery… the suffering itself clears. 

Yet we think so small —by reaching behind the veil just far enough to grab a little magic...to make the suffering tolerable, not dissolve it.

You see we’re going in the wrong direction.

Don’t bring it here.

Go there.

These techniques can be powerful—but only when used as a bridge. A way to reveal the tethers that keep us bound to what hurts.

So I say: don’t stop at the temporary relief of comfort. Keep going.

Because the truth is this:

Once you’ve touched the source… the still, vast, indescribable peace beneath everything… the experience of surviving this life dissolves.

The new car isn’t what makes you feel powerful. 

The relationship isn’t what makes you feel whole.

The constant reaching for more money isn’t what makes you feel safe.

None of those things are bad. By all means have them. Enjoy them.

All that changes is they are no longer your strategy for peace.

For many people, this idea is terrifying.

Because life is really hard sometimes.

The world is unpredictable.

And chasing goals gives us a sense of control.

Because if you really think about it —without all the chasing and fixing, what would you actually do with your days?

If you had it all, how would you fill your time? What would you think about?

That question is worth a pause.

Sit with it. 

It reveals a lot.

Most people stop short here. Because deep down, they’re afraid:

“If I work on these deeper parts of myself… will I stop caring about the things I love?”

You’ll see them flinch.

Because acquiring has been the only strategy they know.

Here’s the subtle truth:

You’re not giving up the world.

You’re gaining the ability to actually enjoy it.

Without clutching.

Without fear.

Without needing to be saved from it.

The high doesn’t last. Because it was never really the thing you truly wanted.

It was the feelings beneath the thing.

Peace. Safety. Belonging.

But these feelings don’t come from the things you acquire.

They come from touching the stillness beyond the craving — a state beyond want, beyond need.

Outside all those urges.

Where something quiet says: “I’m okay. Even now. With… or without it.”

You can have the thing—but you’re no longer dependent on it to feel whole.

That’s the shift.

From dependency on the thing to freedom while having it.

So does that mean vision boards are useless? That wanting success is bad?

Not at all.

Even Thich Nhat Hanh taught that gentle affirmations can help a nervous system soften, so we can begin to let go.

Sometimes we need the small comforts before we can open to something bigger.

Use them as a lifeline — to steady you, to guide you to the next step, to pull you forward.

But here’s what I invite you to consider:

Instead of asking,

“How can I use spirituality to get what I want?”

Ask:

“How can I use the wanting as a doorway to go deeper?”

Follow your longing inward, not outward.

What is this desire pointing to—let it show you the tender place underneath.

Revealing how it’s intertwined with the suffering.

Look at what you think they’ll fix —and then go straight to the source.

Because that’s where the peace lives.

Not in the next thing.

Not in the “better” life.

But in the one you’re already in, once you see it clearly.

—Paul

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